Breaking Down
by am4ever
Summary: What happened when they returned from Vietnam? A look in to the possibilities... Hetty, Admiral Chegwidden, Callen...what could possibly happen? COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

"I wish you'd reconsider, Ms. Lange."

"I assure you, Doctor, that I will be a much better patient at home than I have been here in the hospital."

The middle-aged trauma physician smirked. "I wouldn't go so far as to say you were a 'bad' patient. Just someone anxious to do things her own way."

Hetty met the man's smile and shrugged, though not without involuntarily shuddering at the sharp pain coursing down her spine.

"And that, right there, is why you need more than one night in the hospital," Dr. Atkins stated, moving forward and placing a gentle hand on the older woman's shoulder. "Please, Ms. Lange…"

"I'm fine," Hetty stated emphatically.

"Like hell you are."

The low grumble from the doorway had Dr. Atkins turning quickly to meet a stone-faced, Admiral AJ Chegwidden.

"Sir, I'm afraid there are no visitors allowed," the doctor explained, moving forward to escort AJ out.

"Henrietta…"AJ growled, "…tell him it's all right."

The doctor turned to face Hetty, surprised at the use of his patient's first name and the man's grainy tone. It was she who had asked that no one be allowed in without her prior authorization. And until now, she had not given anyone's name as a potential visitor- including those of her NCIS team members.

But this man seemed to know his patient well. And by the look of resignation on Henrietta Lange's face, Dr. Atkins deemed she knew this particular gentleman might come to see her.

"Sir, I must ask again…." Dr. Atkins began, turning back towards the Admiral.

"It's all right, Doctor. He won't leave no matter how many times you ask him," Hetty stated, her hand rubbing her eyes before dropping tiredly in to her lap.

"You're sure?"

The physician came closer to her bedside, not at all liking her pale color, her pained expression, nor the sudden loss of vigor in her tone.

"Yes…thank you," she replied, forcing a smile for the physician. "I do appreciate all of your help."

Hesitantly, the doctor stood straight and turned back to the Admiral. The older gentleman had fixed him with a harsh glare, his arms crossed, seemingly waiting for the doctor's next attempt to get rid of him.

Setting Hetty's discharge paperwork on the table next to her bed, he looked away from the Admiral to eye Hetty once more.

"Remember, call with any change or questions. While these papers give you a lot of information, they may not help with everything that comes up. My cell phone is always on."

Hetty nodded slowly, thanking the physician once again, though her eyes never left the Admiral's.

"I'll leave you both now. Your ride should be here shortly, Ms. Lange. A nurse will be in to let you know when they're ready for you."

"That is most appreciated, Dr. Atkins," Hetty replied. "Please let you entire staff know how grateful I am for their excellent care."

The doctor nodded, turning and walking to the door.

But before he could leave, the doctor heard the admiral whisper, "Will she be all right?"

Dr. Atkins turned around, noticing that Hetty was still staring at both of them.

With a small sigh, the doctor opened the door to leave and whispered back, "You'll have to ask her."

Walking towards the nurses station, Dr. Atkins worried he hadn't pushed hard enough to keep Henrietta Lange in the hospital. She'd promised to take care of herself- but he'd heard that from patients before. What if she didn't rest enough? What if she didn't go to physical therapy…take the medication he prescribed…find a psychiatrist to deal with the emotional trauma?

Those thoughts plagued the trauma physician as his pager went off, signaling the next patient needing his expertise was rolling in to the Emergency Room. Cursing under his breath, he quickly signed off on Henrietta Lange's discharge in the computer system…his decision, while still questioned, was now final.

* * *

"AJ…"

"Discharging today, Henrietta? Really?" the elder man asked, moving forward to stand by her bed.

"I will be better off at home," she answered sharply.

"Says who?"

"AJ…"

"And which home do you plan on going to? You sold almost all of them!" he reminded her.

"Dovecote," she replied. "It was never sold."

"And you think you can open up that large of a house by yourself?"

"I don't need…"

"Electricity on? Water on? Food in the house?"

She shut her mouth, but her glare spoke volumes. He was pushing buttons he knew he shouldn't, but she needed the help…and by God, he was going to give it to her, even if she kicked and screamed the whole time.

Sighing loudly, he sat on the edge of her bed. He wiped a hand over his tired face, having not truly caught up on his own loss of sleep. Looking back up at her, he found she'd dropped her eyes to focus on her hands now clasped together in her lap.

Her right hand was wrapped in a stark, white bandage; her left hand, in contrast, showing the cuts and bruising he could only imagine covered her entire body. Reaching over, he gently covered both of hers with his own.

"Let me drive you," he said quietly.

"There's already a car on the way," she answered softly.

"I'll have the nurse cancel it."

"You don't need to do this, AJ," she said, chancing a look at him.

Smiling, he reached up and gently cupped her cheek. "I know I don't…but I want to."

* * *

 ** _Thoughts? Reviews? Continue or Not?_**


	2. Chapter 2

It was mid-afternoon when they reached Dovecote. The Admiral knew Hetty had to be exhausted, but surprisingly, she'd remained awake as he drove her home from the hospital. She'd stayed relatively quiet, having spoken only a few words prior to reaching their destination.

After pulling in to the driveway, AJ noticed Hetty seemed intent on scanning the grounds and outside of the house, probably looking for any changes since she'd been gone.

Coming around to her side of the car, he opened the door and held out both hands to her. "Ready?"

Snapping to attention, she nodded, tentatively placing her hands in his. As she slid out of the large vehicle, he watched her carefully- noting any grimace or wince she made. While he was not aware of all her injuries, Callen had described the way in which she'd been found- the torture she was being subjected to when they'd rescued her. The lead agent was sure she had broken ribs…perhaps even open wounds on her back. AJ wanted to be sure he kept a close eye on her- seeing as though she was out of the hospital far sooner than she should be and her injuries could get worse if she wasn't careful.

He led her in to the house, securely locking the door behind them while she slowly made her way through the foyer.

"Henrietta…what can I get you? You probably haven't had anything decent to eat in months," he said, turning on a light here and there as he followed her.

Gripping the side of the wall, Hetty's small form leaned heavily against the archway leading in to the sitting room. She took a moment to collect her breath, hoping to quell the increasing pain along her left side.

A light touch on her shoulder blade reminded her AJ had asked a question.

"I'm afraid nothing sounds appealing just now, AJ," she admitted.

She looked up, meeting his concerned gaze. He took her elbow, his imminent question as to her well-being interrupted by her soft voice. "I'm all right, AJ."

"Then how about some tea?" he asked, urging her towards the couch.

"Perhaps…thank you," she said. "But why is everything in here…?"

"Taken care of," he responded.

AJ looked down at her as she turned slowly to survey the room in its entirety.

"You've opened the house already?" she asked, looking up at him, slightly confused.

"I simply helped with some small tasks. Your team took care of most everything by the time I arrived last night," he replied with a small smirk.

Her eyes narrowed. "You told me everything here was still closed up….that I should stay in the hospital because I couldn't possibly open the house by myself."

Sighing, he took her elbow once more and pulled her the last few steps towards the sofa. "Call it one final, failed might I add, attempt to make you see sense. But knowing you so well, Callen and I determined you probably wouldn't listen to your doctor. So, we decided it would be best for the house to be ready for your imminent, albeit premature, arrival home from the hospital."

"Callen," she repeated softly, remembering how careful he had been helping her on and off the helicopter, wanting to stay with her overnight in the hospital, telling the doctor to call with even the slightest change in her status when she'd told him it wasn't necessary to babysit her.

"Come now, Henrietta….you haven't been gone so long that you've forgotten how much he cares about you."

He caught the hint of a smile on her lips as her head lowered. "I suppose…"

"You'll be glad to know everything is in working order and your refrigerator is full…thanks to your two technical gurus. Though, I do think you'll find some pantry items more suited to Eric's tastes than yours," he explained, chuckling as he went over to the drink cart and started pouring her a glass of water.

"Such as?"

"Captain Crunch for one," he answered, returning to her side and handing her the glass of water.

He noticed the slight shake in her hand as she took the glass, placing it on the table rather than drinking any. AJ knew it would not be best to comment on his concerns now…not when she was just home from the hospital and had been poked and prodded for the past twenty four hours.

"You never turned off the electricity…and I had the hot water heater turned back on yesterday. You won't have to lift a finger around here for quite a while…all you need to worry about now is getting yourself back in shape."

She glanced around the room once more and then forced a small smile for him. "Yes…I guess so. Thank you, AJ. I am grateful for all the help."

"Don't thank me. Thank your team," he replied. "Now, I'll go get that tea…you sure you don't want anything else?"

She shook her head, putting a hand on the couch's arm to steady herself.

He nodded, still worried at why she seemed hesitant to sit down and rest. But knowing it would be best to let her set the pace, he made his way out of the room and towards the kitchen.

Hetty slowly walked around the room, looking for anything out of place, trying to keep her mind off the nagging pain now coursing through her body. She worried if she stopped moving, memories of the past few months would invade her thoughts…and that emotional trauma coupled with her weakened physical state would simply be too much to handle.

While Hetty hated to admit any form of weakness, she knew the time was nearing where she would have to. AJ knew her too well…and could easily see through the walls she had built up over the years. But Hetty could not ask him for help…she could only ask him for forgiveness. For not telling him about what she was doing…for drawing him in to Vietnam to rescue her…for putting his life in danger. She owed him, along with the rest of her team and friends, her life.

When AJ entered the room a few moments later, Hetty's disturbed psyche was evident as he found her standing beside the large bay window, her bandaged hand covering her tightly shut eyes.

"Henrietta?" he called softly, setting her tea cup on the coffee table and walking over to stand beside her. "Henrietta?"

Her hand dropped as she looked up at him, exhaustion and pain evident in the lines across her forehead.

"AJ…thank you for coming to find me…for not leaving me there," she ended with a whisper.

He sighed, crossing his arms, hating that there was guilt laced within her comments. "You would have done the same for any one of us. You don't need to thank me."

She shook her head firmly. "Yes…I do. I never should have put you in that position."

Cautiously, he reached down and took her unwrapped hand in his. "Henrietta, there will be a time for us to discuss what happened. But it isn't now…not when you need to rest."

"I told you I'm fine," she demanded, attempting to pull her hand away.

AJ's own frustration began to boil, hating that Hetty continually pushed her own well-being to the side, thinking of everyone else before herself. Perhaps another approach would finally break her down…or so he hoped.

"You're right….you shouldn't have left me in the dark. You should have told me where you were going," he said lowly.

He saw the hurt flash through her eyes. AJ never liked to argue with her…but sometimes, tough love was the only way to make Henrietta Lange understand.

"I know," she said quietly, her eyes averted so as not to meet his. "Please know it was never a question of my trust in you."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

Yes, it was too soon to ask these questions but if anything was true of their relationship, it was they'd always told each other the truth- even if it meant keeping Langston, Sterling and Granger out of the loop. But this time…this time, she'd shut him out…and he hated that it was his own past opinions on Keane that kept her from confiding in him.

"I didn't think it would turn like it did, AJ," she admitted.

Pulling her hand from his, she gripped the edge of the window seat and sat as gently as she could. The pull from the broken ribs and sutured wounds on her back sent a wave a pain throughout her core. AJ stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, seeing her face turn white and her head drop against her chest as the dizziness swept over her.

"Deep breaths," he coached.

She nodded after a moment, continuing her explanation. "I knew it may not even be true. And I didn't want you…or anyone for that matter…placed in unnecessary danger if Dang was just baiting me with someone claiming to be Keane."

Hetty sighed softly, finally forcing herself to meet AJ's eyes.

"I understand that I was wrong, AJ….that I should have at least told you…even if you did not agree. And for that…and everything else that transpired after…I apologize."

AJ nodded, though he hated seeing her so hurt and vulnerable…especially when he knew he would have done everything in his power to stop her from going to Vietnam in the first place.

"Henrietta, should you have told me what your plan was? Damn straight you should have. But do I understand why you didn't?" he asked, staring her straight in the eye, letting his question sink in.

His pause unnerved her. But, gathering what strength she had left, she held his gaze and waited for his answer...hoping and praying she hadn't fatally damaged their relationship.

"Of course I understand. You know, better than anyone, I _**never**_ would have let you go. I would have told you Dang was a liar, that Keane was dead long ago, and I would have done anything and everything to stop you from going. And you know what?"

His grip on her shoulders tightened slightly as he bent down, now eye level with her.

"I would have been wrong…and it would have cost Keane his life."

AJ saw Hetty's eyes fill with tears before she dropped her gaze to the floor, the Admiral knowing she hated showing emotion in front of anyone, even him.

" _ **You**_ saved him Henrietta," AJ continued, "And while I do not always agree with your methods, you did what you needed to do to bring him back home. There is no guilt or shame in that. And if anyone is sorry…it is me. For not believing you thirty years ago when you asked us to go back and look for Keane's body."

Silence befell the pair, the only sound being that of the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. The Admiral stood straight, not knowing what she was thinking or how she was feeling…but knowing he still admired her more than anyone else he'd ever met. It would take time, but he would show her he still trusted her…and she could still trust him.

He gathered her tea cup and brought it over, setting it on the window seat beside her.

"You need to rest, Henrietta," he reminded her.

Hetty looked at the tea cup for a moment and then slowly turned her eyes to meet his once more.

"He's home now, AJ," she said softly. "We didn't leave him behind…that's all that matters. We _**all**_ brought him home."

AJ chuckled, amazed at the introspective way in which Henrietta Lange, after all the torture she'd been through, could find the positive in such a horrid situation.

"Does that mean you'll stop blaming yourself for this whole thing?" he asked, moving forward to cup her cheek with his hand.

With a small smile, she answered, "I cannot promise, AJ…but I will try. I will try, indeed."


	3. Chapter 3

The shrill ring of a cell phone caught the Admiral by surprise the next morning while he waited for the tea kettle to boil. But, after seeing the caller's name on the screen, he was anything but surprised.

"Good morning, Agent Callen."

"Admiral. How is she?"

"Still stubborn."

Callen chuckled on the other end of the line. "This is one time I'm happy to hear it. Did she insist on coming home?"

"Of course. Been here since yesterday afternoon."

"You're with her?"

"Mmhmm…"the Admiral replied, taking the whistling tea kettle off the stove. He tucked his cell phone in between his shoulder and ear as he poured the hot liquid in to one of Hetty's numerous tea pots.

"I'm surprised she hasn't thrown you out by now," Callen stated, his shock evident in the way he cleared his throat.

"I told you I would pull rank if needed," the Admiral reminded the younger agent.

"Yea…right," Callen replied, trying to keep the conversation about Hetty's recovery…rather than about the hundreds of questions now running through his mind regarding just how close the Admiral and Hetty actually were. "Is she feeling any better?"

"She wouldn't take any pain medication…damn obstinate woman…had to crush up two of the pills in her tea. By the time she figured it out, enough of it was in her system that she was half asleep. She couldn't put up much of a fight."

"Nice plan," Callen admitted, shaking his head. "I guess you do know most of her tricks."

"Son, she's been a forty-some year case study," the Admiral said, setting two tea cups and Hetty's medications on the tea tray. "Everything all right at the office?"

"Moseley wanted us to write up reports of the case…just in case SecNav requests them."

"Smart of her," AJ agreed. "You think it'll get to that point?"

Callen sighed. "I hope not. I don't think Hetty could stand being questioned about this."

AJ stopped, leaning against the counter and running a hand over his face. Trying to decide what he should say to reassure the lead agent was difficult…Callen was skilled at separating when someone was telling the truth and when someone was simply fabricating a story. It was one of the reasons Hetty trusted him as her lead agent.

The Admiral knew saying too much would give away Hetty's current status…and he wasn't sure it would be best for Callen to know everything quite yet.

"AJ…what is it?"

"Nothing…just trying to imagine Henrietta against Shay Moseley."

Callen scoffed. "No competition. Hetty would eat her alive."

AJ smirked. "Let's just hope it doesn't come to that."

Callen was silent for a moment before he cleared his throat and continued. "I'll try to get over tomorrow. Have to finish up the paperwork today. But if you need something…"

"I'll make sure you are first call. But I think we'll be fine, Callen. Thanks again for getting the house ready. Henrietta really appreciated all the work you put in to it."

"Just tell her to listen for once. Or she'll have more than just you to argue with."

"It'll be the first thing I remind her of when she wakes up."

"And AJ…"

"Yea?"

Callen paused. It was hard for him to put in to words how much he appreciated the Admiral's help to find and rescue Hetty. And it was also hard for him to thank the man for taking such good care of the woman he did, though he never spoke it, consider to be the only mother he'd ever known.

"Callen?"

"Sorry…lost in thought. Just…thanks. Thanks for being there with her."

"No thanks needed. We'll take care of her, Callen."

The Admiral hung up with the lead agent a moment later, the burden he felt suddenly heavier. While he wanted to do all he could to take care of Hetty, he now felt he owed it to her team to do everything he could to get their fearless leader back to her normal self. But "normal" seemed a long way off….

Taking the tea tray in both hands, AJ made his way up the stairs to Hetty's bedroom. He only hoped that a full night of sleep had helped her gather strength…strength she would need to fight the enormous physical and emotional demons that currently plagued her exhausted soul.


	4. Chapter 4

It was light outside when her eyes opened, but the surroundings were far different than she expected. The last thing she remembered was the cell she'd been sequestered in for months, the dampness, the smell of rain and the dark….always the dark.

Turning her head, she saw the curtains were pulled closed against her bedroom windows, but bright light still shown through the bottom. As she surveyed the scene, Hetty attempted to remember what had happened the night before…and just how she had arrived in her bedroom.

But no memory came…only memories of Vietnam flashed through her mind. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, Hetty attempted to find peace, focusing on the silence in the room.

She opened her eyes and pushed up on her hands, hoping to get out of bed and start putting her life back in order. Sharp pain that ran along each side had her collapsing back on her stomach…her plan for normalcy shattering instantaneously.

While catching her lost breath, Hetty now remembered she had acquired broken ribs, multiple abrasions across her entire body, open wounds on her back and a large gash on the left side of her head. She would have to move more gently, holding off on most household tasks until she was fully healed. Unfortunately, the memory of Vietnam would have a hold on her for far longer than she cared to admit.

A small knock on the door sounded. She was able to roll over, her teeth grinding in pain as the fabric of her shirt pressed in to the wounds on her back. AJ entered, tea tray in hand, but eyes solely focused on her.

"Good morning," he said quietly. "I wasn't sure when you might wake up."

"I don't remember falling asleep," she replied, sitting up slowly and trying to settle back against the headboard.

AJ dropped the tea tray on her nightstand, moving to place a few pillows behind her back. He could easily see how much pain she was in, the shortness of her breath with each movement she tried to make, and the way she avoided making eye contact.

"How's that?" he asked, standing straight after she seemed to settle.

"Fine….thank you," she answered, taking a few deep breaths.

She looked over at the tea tray and immediately noticed the three pill bottles planted on the tray.

"What are those?" she asked.

"Your antibiotics and pain pills," he answered, taking the tea pot to pour her a cup of tea.

He handed it to her, trying to gauge her mood. She thanked him quietly and held the cup close to her chest, hoping its warmth would permeate through her core.

"Sleep well?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Mmm…though I'm not sure how I got here," she responded, her eyes now meeting his.

He chuckled, grateful that her lips had curled in to a small smile.

"Henrietta…it was with your own medication."

"So you admit you put something in my tea last night?"

"You needed to sleep," he said with a small shrug. "Had to do what I had to do."

"Aha. So you drugged me."

"Henrietta…"

"Well, at least this time it was with prescribed medication," she said, a coy smile gracing her lips before she took a sip of her tea.

AJ dropped his head, shaking it back and forth. "You'll never let me live that one down, will you?"

"No," she replied curtly.

He looked back over at her and smirked. "Well, it was worth it then and it was worth it last night. You needed the rest, Henrietta. Are you feeling any better?"

"Mmhmm. A night of sleep can do wonders," she answered.

"It can," he agreed, nodding, though not truly believing her. It would take much more than one night of sleep for her to heal from what she had endured over the past few months.

"You need to sleep too, AJ. I won't allow you to sacrifice your own health…"

"Who says I didn't sleep last night?" he asked, interrupting her.

She stopped, mid-sip, her eyes widening. Just what was the Admiral's end game?

"I slept like a baby, thank you very much. You have very good taste in mattresses," he said, standing to pour himself a cup of tea.

Lowering her tea cup back to her lap, Hetty watched him closely. After getting his own tea, he opened each pill bottle and counted out those pills which she assumed she needed to take. As he continued his task, Hetty could only feel increased appreciation and love for the man who so obviously cared about her well-being.

AJ handed her a few pills and taking her tea cup, he replaced it with a glass of water.

"No options, Henrietta. Doc doesn't want those wounds on your back to get infected."

And just like that, her thoughts turned back to Vietnam…to the rain, the blood, the injections, the torture.

When AJ sat back beside her, the pills were still clasped in her palm, her eyes focused on a subject far off in the distance. Silently, he reached over and placed his hand over hers, gently opening her fingers to reveal the pills.

"One at a time, Henrietta. One pill…and one day…at a time."


	5. Chapter 5

Callen was about to knock when he heard the sound of raised voices from behind the door. Inching closer, he tried to hear what was being said but could only determine that the voices belonged to Hetty and the Admiral.

He lifted his hand to knock again when the door flew open, a red-faced Admiral now standing in front of him.

"Admiral…" Callen began cautiously, "Everything ok?"

"What do you think?!" the older man demanded, as he slammed the door shut and joined Callen on the porch.

Callen waited, not knowing if he should ask what was wrong. The Admiral had started pacing back and forth, muttering under his breath.

"Admiral…" Callen started again, only to be interrupted by AJ turning quickly, pointing a finger towards the door.

"Do you know how stubborn that woman can be?"

Callen smirked, crossing his arms and looking down briefly. "Yup…have known that for a long time. Thought you would be used to it by now."

AJ scoffed, beginning to pace once more.

Callen uncrossed his arms and stepped forward. "Look, Admiral, you and I both knew this wasn't going to be easy."

"She should have stayed in the hospital," AJ growled, turning to face Callen again.

Callen nodded. "And you and she were…'discussing' that?" he asked, trying to find out what had caused the Admiral to storm out of the house.

"No," AJ replied. "Not since yesterday, anyway."

"Then what got you…?" Callen began, cocking his head to the side, his look conveying to AJ that he was looking for more information.

"She doesn't want to take the pain medication…" AJ interrupted with a sigh, throwing his hands up in the air and allowing them to fall at his sides in defeat. "…says that it doesn't allow her to focus…makes her sleep too much."

"And you think she needs it?"

"Go see for yourself," AJ replied, leaning against the brick wall, "Maybe I am 'overreacting' like she says.'"

Callen looked to the door and then back to AJ. "All right. You staying out here?"

"I need a few minutes," AJ answered slowly, looking away from Callen, hoping that was all it would take to quell his frustration with the small woman inside.

"Why don't you head home and grab a couple hours of sleep? I'll stay here with her," Callen offered.

"I'm good. If anything, I'll go to the guest room. Sleeps better than my old mattress anyway….but don't tell her I said that," the Admiral warned, the hint of a smile finally reaching his lips.

Callen chuckled. "Secret's safe with me. As long as you don't tell her I like the mattresses better than my old bedroll…she's still trying to make me get rid of it."

And with that, Callen entered the home he had first come to at the young age of 15. Back then, he was a confused and angry teenager, not knowing what was in store for him in the new foster home he didn't want to be in. And now, decades later, he found he was just as hesitant to enter Dovecote…not knowing if he was ready to find Hetty in a state other than one of confidence and authority.


	6. Chapter 6

"Well….are you simply admiring the ambiance or are you going to come in?"

Callen smirked, stuffing his hands in his pockets and coming around the wing-backed chair to find the small form of Henrietta Lange looking up at him. He was glad to see the hint of a smile on her face, the only sign that anything was wrong being a large bruise running from her left eye down her cheek.

"What gave me away?" he asked, sitting across from her on the sofa.

"You started wearing that cologne after Miss Kolchek gave it to you for Christmas last year," she replied.

He chuckled, leaning back against the cushions. "Well I'm glad to see Vietnam didn't take away your keen sense of smell."

She shook her head. "Luckily, they left me with a few abilities intact…including the ability to hear, Mr. Callen."

"Oh?" He sat forward, clasping his hands over his knees.

"I know you spoke to AJ just now."

"Didn't think we were that loud," Callen mumbled, looking down.

Hetty's lips pressed together in a thin line. "While I appreciate the concern he has, I can assure you I am fine."

"Ok," Callen said with a nod.

"It is best everything get back to normal as soon as possible. Narcotics, unfortunately, will not allow for that."

"Well…" Callen began thoughtfully, "I can appreciate that."

Hetty stared at him, waiting for him to argue against her wishes. But Callen said nothing, merely smiled at her before glancing around the room.

"It's good to see the house up and running again. Much better than when all the furniture was covered and the 'For Sale' sign was hanging out front."

Hetty's eyes narrowed, wondering if he was just placating her. "Yes…I quite agree."

Her guard was still up, and Callen knew it. But he also knew the best way to earn her trust was to talk about the elephant in the room, rather than tip toe around it.

"Look, Hetty, I really don't know whether or not you need to take your pain meds. Do I think they could help…yes. But am I the one who can make that decision? No. So I'm not going to try and push you one way or the other. I'm only going to ask you to do two things for me, and then we don't have to talk about this again."

Hetty sat a bit straighter in her chair, her right arm quickly crossing over her abdomen to hold her left side tight. Any small movement still caused her sharp pain along her ribcage, but she couldn't allow it to show in front of anyone, especially Callen. If she was to have her way, she had to portray a strong front while her perceptive, lead agent was around.

Clearing her throat to hide the groan wanting to escape her lips, she fixed Callen with a stern gaze.

"You know I hate bargaining, Mr. Callen."

Holding up both hands in a form of surrender, Callen attempted to explain. "All I'm asking is that you take it easy on the Admiral. We almost lost you over there, Hetty. And the Admiral, more than anyone, still blames himself for not finding you earlier. Just cut him a little slack…the old guy is worried about you…even if he won't say it in so many words."

He knew he'd hit a nerve, seeing her blinking quicken to clear away welling tears she was trying to hide.

"And your second request?" she asked quietly, turning to look out the window.

"Have a cup of tea with me."

Surprised, she turned back to look at him.

"It's been too long since I've had the real stuff…or any enlightening conversation," he said, cracking a smile.

Matching his expression, she looked down and sighed. "I agree, Mr. Callen. It has been far too long. I think a strong cup of tea would do us both a world of good."

Clapping his hands on his knees, Callen stood. "Then that's settled. And you'll go easier on the Admiral?"

It was hard to deny him anything, especially when he cracked that quirky smile…the same smile he used to wear when he'd beg to drive her Mercedes after first getting his license. In so many ways, he was still the young man who'd come to live with her all those years before…and she was glad to know he still considered Dovecote his home. Even more, she was glad Dovecote had never sold. She couldn't bear the thought of him having nowhere to go when he needed an escape.

"Hetty?"

Breaking away from her memories, she took his offered hand and squeezed it gently.

"All right. I'll try to my best with AJ. But he needs to settle down!" she grumbled.

"Mmhm," he agreed, not wanting to get in the middle of an argument between two of the most powerful people he knew.

She stood with his help, but the spinning of the room quickly overwhelmed her stability. Letting go of Callen's hand, she grasped the side of the chair, silently cursing herself for forgetting to stand up slowly.

"Hetty….what's wrong?"

She waved away his concern, though her eyes remained shut. "It's fine. The Doctor feels it will pass in a few days."

Callen gently put a hand on her shoulder. "What will pass?"

"The dizziness. Something to do with electrolytes," she explained, finally feeling a bit steadier. After another moment, she was able to open her eyes and meet Callen's concerned gaze.

Patting his hand, she smiled warmly. "Not to worry. A few Powerades, and I'll be right as rain."

"You sure?"

"Positive," she answered with a nod.

He kept his hand at the small of her back as they walked toward the kitchen, beginning to understand why the Admiral had cause to be worried. And unfortunately, his worry only increased when, after they reached the foyer, Hetty reached out and grabbed the wall, stopping to catch her breath..

"Hetty?"

Callen's hand pressed firmer in to Hetty's back, hoping to support her further. But a hiss of pain sounded from the small woman, causing Callen to quickly withdraw his hand. Leaning down, he tried his best to assess how he could help, but her eyes were pressed shut, the pain she was in evidenced in the deep lines across her forehead.

"What is it, Hetty? What's wrong?"

"Nothing…nothing, Mr. Callen. I'm fine," she replied softly.

Tears glistened in her dark eyes when they met his. He hated that he was the cause of whatever pain she was in…and hated even more than he didn't know how to help her.

"No, you're not. What happened?"

"Just a twinge….it will be fine," she explained.

"Hetty…"

The front door opened, and the Admiral walked in, not at all prepared for the scene in front of him. Callen turned to meet the Admiral's questioning look.

"All good?" the Admiral asked.

Callen looked down to Hetty who was now standing straight, her lips set in a thin line.

"Yea…Hetty and I were just going to grab a cup of tea. Care to join us?"

The Admiral studied Callen for a few seconds before settling his gaze on Hetty. He knew something had happened by a quick review of Callen's body language. But the slight shake of Callen's head from side to side told the Admiral to leave his questions for later.

"Sure…as long as I'm not intruding"

"Not at all," Callen said. "I'll go start the kettle. Take your time….I'll see you both in the kitchen."

The Admiral nodded his thanks to Callen, the younger man clapping him on the shoulder as he passed by.

"Nice of Callen to stop in," the Admiral said, walking forward a few steps to stand directly in front of Hetty.

"Yes, it is," she replied, her focus still on the floor rather than him.

AJ sighed deeply, crossing his arms. "Henrietta, I shouldn't have yelled at you…and I'll do my best to keep…"

"No, AJ…stop," she interrupted. "I was the one who was out of line."

She attempted a step towards him, the pain still ripping across the wounds down her back. Even the lightest touch from Callen had made the pain intensify, something she had not been prepared for.

Seeing her struggle, he caught her forearms, holding her steady while she regained her bearings.

"Henrietta…"

"I was wrong, AJ. I know I need something for the pain…"

Looking up at him tentatively, she found he was wearing the same concerned expression Callen had spoken of. Her fingers tightened around his wrists as she shook her head in exasperation.

"I don't want to bother you with this…," she said softly, hoping he could understand. "But if I cannot hold focus, I fear the secrets I keep will be fair game for anyone to get hold of."

"That is the last thing you need to be thinking about now, Henrietta," he answered with a small chuckle. "No way anyone is going to pump you full of something…."

His words faded as she shuddered beneath his touch, her eyes dropping to the floor. AJ couldn't imagine why she would be worried about this kind of mental inhibition; not when she was home, safe and sound, far away from her captors. Unless…

AJ couldn't believe he didn't ask her before…or that he didn't question why her right arm had been bound with heavy bandaging. Any touch to her bicep had caused her intense pain. Why hadn't he realized the truth before now?

"My God, Henrietta…" he whispered, his forehead coming to rest against hers. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged slightly, her eyes still shut against the memories of the injections, the persistent questioning, Keane being shot…and that damn Cuckoo's Nest rhyme.

AJ tilted her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eye. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No…" she whispered insistently "…not now."

"Not now, but soon…tonight. After Callen leaves. And then we'll come up with a plan for the meds," he said, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. "We'll make sure you're in control the whole time, all right?"

"Thank you, AJ. For trying to understand…even if you do not agree," she replied, forcing a small smile.

"Well…we can't always agree, can we? That would make our arguments very boring."

Seeing her laugh softly warmed the elder Admiral's heart. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek, pulling back and winking at her.

"Now let's go see if that kid's tea is better than yours."

She smirked. "Who do you think taught him to boil water in the first place?"


	7. Chapter 7

_Apologies for the long wait in between chapters. I hope I've done this one justice!_

* * *

Hetty hated to admit that she was ever wrong, but in her present state, she realized AJ had been right all along. And the fact that she needed his help was becoming clearer with each passing moment.

The shower had been somewhat painful but was not what brought on her feelings of inadequacy. Rather, it was getting dressed…a seemingly simple task…that was proving beyond her capabilities. The pants had taken a little longer than normal but were manageable. The injuries to her ribs and back, however, made manipulating anything higher than her waist, like a nightshirt, nearly impossible.

But Henrietta Lange was not one to declare defeat so easily. So, taking in another deep breath, she raised her arms high enough to put on the satin nightshirt. All seemed well until she lowered her arms and a hot, searing pain shot across her lower back.

Cringing, Hetty took hold of the vanity in front of her, holding in the sob now caught in her throat. Something had broken open…the stitches, most likely…but how badly and how many, she couldn't tell. Once again, the tiny lady was reminded she needed assistance. But for this, she couldn't possibly ask AJ…he'd helped enough already, and Hetty loathed asking him to look at her beaten, bruised body. The shame of it all was too much for her teetering emotions.

She could only hope that the wounds would reseal themselves, that only a few stitches had come loose. But as Hetty slowly moved in to the bedroom, her nightshirt began sticking to the gashes along her spine. Her heart sunk as she realized this was going to be worse than she had hoped.

"Everything all right?"

AJ stood from a large chair in the corner, having been reading from a novel he'd found in the library that afternoon.

While their visit with Callen had been a good one, the Admiral saw how easily it tired Henrietta…and he wanted to be sure he was on hand should she need his assistance. When she'd gone to shower after a small dinner, he worried she would call for his help and he might not hear her from downstairs. It was then he'd determined to change in to his own nightclothes and wait for her in her bedroom.

The pale color of Hetty's skin and her rigid steps confirmed for the Admiral he had been right to wait close by…for something was obviously wrong.

"Henrietta…what is it?" he asked again, setting the book down and moving towards her.

AJ had just stepped in front of her when she wearily sat on the bed, her grimace revealing just how much pain she was in. Her hands shook as they gripped the comforter, her head lowered to try and compose herself. AJ reached forward, gently touching her shoulder.

"Dizzy?"

"No…not dizzy," she said quietly.

"Then what?" Lifting her chin slightly, he forced her to look at him. "Tell me."

"It will be all right…in time. I suppose you have your cell phone with you?"

Surprised at her sudden change of subject, he stepped back. "Yes…why?"

"Might you call Miss Jones for me…or perhaps Miss Blye?"

"I can…but Callen will take care of the team."

She nodded. "Indeed…but I'm afraid I need their assistance with another matter."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Such as…?"

"I…Just ask if they might stop by on their way home from the office…please," she answered, her head dropping, half to gather another breath and half in shame.

The Admiral was quickly becoming frustrated. "Henrietta, just tell me what is wrong."

Hetty shook her head slowly from side to side. "No, AJ, I…."

"Now!" he exclaimed, his arms crossing defiantly, waiting for her to look at him.

Hetty tiredly lifted her head, sighing softly. "I do not want you to see this, AJ. You've done more than enough as it is."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"It's rather…sensitive…" she said, clearing her throat. "I would rather…"

AJ stepped forward again, placing both hands on her shoulders. "Henrietta, if you think I haven't seen worse before, think again."

She shuddered involuntarily, knowing they had both seen many horrors during their time as active operatives. But Hetty did not want AJ to think less of her. And, to the strong and powerful Henrietta Lange, physical wounds proved she had failed in so many ways. Failed Keane, failed her team, failed her life long friends…failed herself…

"Show me," he commanded softly.

Her eyes glistened with tears as she met his gaze. Something more was happening between them…something more than friendship. Perhaps that was another reason she didn't want him to see her bloody, marred back. Not understanding where she and AJ's relationship was headed worried her just as much as her failing he and the team in Vietnam.

"AJ…"

"Henrietta, show me or we're going to the hospital."

Grumbling under her breath, she turned slightly on the bed. "I think some of the stitches came loose."

AJ stepped to the side and quickly realized why she was in so much pain. The entire lower portion of her nightshirt was streaked with red, little drops of blood now falling on to the comforter.

Cursing under his breath, AJ reached forward and gently pulled up her nightshirt, the blood flowing faster as the material pulled away from her skin.

It felt like little needles poking her all at once as the satin garment tore away from her wounds. Hetty did her best not to flinch, but the pain was too great. Her breath hitched, her body instinctively bending forward, pulling away from what seemed to be the source of her affliction.

AJ put a hand on her arm, holding her in place, so she wouldn't do any further damage to her back nor put any extra pressure on her broken ribs.

"First aid kit?"

"In the bathroom," she whispered, a lone tear making its way down her cheek.

He moved quickly, finding the first aid kit, along with other supplies they may need later. Not wasting a moment, the Admiral moved back in to the bedroom and set everything on the bed behind Hetty.

"All right…let's get you out of that shirt."

Hetty's eyes widened to the size of saucers, her face paling even further.

"AJ…I…"

"I can't properly dress the wounds and hold up the shirt at the same time. Plus, it's got blood all over it. Where do you keep your other nightshirts?"

"But…"

Calmly, he took one of the larger towels and pressed it in to her arms. "You do the buttons and when you're ready, I'll help you pull it off. You can hold the towel in front of you the whole time."

Silently, she locked eyes with him. The Admiral had seen everything from defiance to rage to elation in Henrietta Lange's eyes over the past forty years. But the fear he now saw from the normally courageous woman surprised and worried him.

Leaning forward, he kissed her cheek softly. "Quick and simple, Henrietta. Just pretend we're back in Moscow and cutting you out of that dress again."

Her frown slowly turned upward, a small chuckle escaping her lips at the memory. Smiling, the Admiral whispered in her ear, "It looked better as a mini-dress anyway."

He pulled back, but not before sending a wink her way. Hetty blushed, looking away from the sparkling eyes of the Admiral standing in front of her.

"Now, let's get you cleaned up."

He moved to her dresser and found her night clothes in the middle drawer, picking out a new nightshirt that looked almost identical to the one she was currently wearing. He settled himself behind her on the bed, waiting for her cue .

Her hands shook as she undid the five buttons along her chest, pulling the towel close as the garment opened, letting in a rush of cool air. Turning her head slightly, she held out her left arm.

"Could you please…?" she asked softly, the fatigue suddenly overwhelming.

AJ obliged, gently tugging the shirt's sleeve off her tiny arm. After doing the same on Hetty's right side, he threw the bloody nightshirt on the ground and quickly examined how much damage had been done.

The gashes were deep…the skin around each wound swollen where the stitching had come out. The blood was still flowing out of the wounds, and AJ worried if he didn't stop it soon, a trip to the hospital was inevitable.

His hands moved smoothly across her back, though his burden seemed to grow heavier each time she whimpered when he applied fresh ointment over the deep wounds.

"Good?" he asked, setting the ointment aside and picking up the needle and thread.

She agreed, but her breaths were coming in faster and more strained than AJ was comfortable with. He did his best to make the stitches clean and concise, not wanting them to split open again. But he feared his want to limit her pain caused him to rush. Blood still trickled through the largest of the gashes along her spine, though the flow seemed to have slowed significantly.

"Almost done," AJ told her.

His last task was placing large pieces of gauze over the wounds, taping them in place with medical tape from the first aid kit.

"Ok….that should hold until your doctor's appointment tomorrow. We should wrap your ribs…"

Hetty shook her head back and forth, still trying to catch her breath. AJ, putting his hand on the back of her neck, leaned forward so he could see her face all while keeping her steady.

"It will help keep these bandages in place, Henrietta," he reminded her.

"No….harder to breathe with…them wrapped," Hetty answered, her entire body shaking from fatigue and pain.

The Admiral, knowing she couldn't handle much more, gave in. He gathered her new nightshirt and took her left hand, slipping it in to the sleeve. After some careful maneuvering, Hetty was in the clean garment and leaning against the headboard while AJ cleaned up all the supplies.

He turned out the lights in the bathroom, before moving to the bedroom door and shutting it. Hetty barely noticed that he hadn't left her alone until she saw the overhead lights turn out and felt the bed sag beside her.

Opening her weary eyes, Hetty turned to find AJ slipping off his shoes and turning out the lamp on the end table.

"AJ?"

"Shh…just take this and then we'll get you settled in bed."

Confusion etched across her features as he placed a tiny pill in her hand.

"Just one pain pill….please," he urged.

Too tired to argue, Hetty took the small pill, grateful that AJ helped her with the water glass. Before she could turn herself around on the bed, AJ had already turned down the comforter on her side of the bed and was pulling extra pillows from the closet.

"Think you can sleep on your stomach tonight?"

He placed a pillow along the edge of the bed before reaching over to take her hand in his. Hetty gripped his fingers tight, much tighter than AJ was used to.

"Henrietta?"

"Just…give me a minute," she said, forcing a small smile for him.

It hurt to see her in a weakened state…but at least she was still fighting. That, more than anything, gave him hope.

She soon nodded, indicating she was ready to try laying down. AJ helped her as much as he could, making sure she was breathing comfortably before turning out her bedside lamp.

He came around to the opposite side of the bed and climbed in, keenly aware that Hetty's eyes were watching him intently.

"I don't snore," he told her quietly, turning on his side and smiling at her.

Hetty couldn't move easily, but her head was situated on the pillow so she was facing him. AJ sensed she was trying to think of what to say…what to ask…what to do with him in her bed. But he couldn't leave her alone after what had happened tonight. He needed to be close in case the wounds broke open again or she needed help getting out of bed.

"AJ…you don't need to stay," she said softly.

"I know," he answered, reaching down to take her tiny hand in his. "But I'm going to. And there isn't anything you can do about it."

She huffed lightly, muttering under her breath, "Cheeky."

AJ's heart lightened, hearing a little of the old Henrietta coming through. Leaning down, he kissed her cheek.

"Sleep well, Henrietta."

She closed her briefly, letting out a sigh. "AJ…I don't know how to thank you."

"You don't have to," he answered, placing a light kiss to the back of her hand before pulling it against his chest. "I'm right where I want to be."

And before she knew what was happening, his lips had pressed against hers. Gentle, yet firm….strong but not overbearing.

"Sleep, Henrietta, just sleep. I'll be right here," he whispered, his forehead resting against hers.

And she had no choice but to oblige. Be it the pain pill kicking in, the fatigue from the blood loss or the emotional ups and downs of the past day and a half…Henrietta Lange, for once, did exactly as she was told and fell fast asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Two Days Later**_

The tea kettle whistled loudly, breaking her from her reverie. Pouring the hot water in to a small tea pot, Henrietta Lange watched as the steaming, clear liquid quickly turned a deep, dark brown color.

"Much like the future," she thought, "unknown and mysterious."

After setting the kettle back on the stove, she slowly lowered herself in to one of the chairs at the kitchen table. While she waited for the tea to brew to her desired taste, her thoughts drifted once more.

And that was where the Admiral found her, staring off in to a distance far, far away….a distance only she could see.

"Henrietta," he said cautiously, not wanting to spook her, "everything all right?"

She turned at the sound of his voice, her eyes widening slightly to see him in front of her.

"I didn't hear you come in," she answered, sitting against the back of the chair and trying to shake the vivid pictures of Vietnam from her thoughts.

"Just got back," he replied, a small smile appearing on his lips. "Think I got everything we needed."

She nodded. "Let me help."

AJ set the shopping bags on the counter and quickly turned to give her a hand up. The doctor's appointment had gone well, and all of the stitches that AJ had tried to repair stayed intact. Dr. Atkins had even complimented AJ, saying he could have a job as a surgeon if he put his mind to it.

But AJ's thoughts were on one thing and one thing alone: the well-being of Henrietta Lange.

Hetty had not been happy to hear Dr. Atkins want for her to keep moving slowly, stay off her feet for another week, and stay on antibiotics for another two. While the wounds on her back would heal relatively soon, the doctor cautioned her about expecting too much, too quick. For instance, it could take up to six weeks before her ribs would not cause her pain every time she moved. And it would be even longer before her normal stamina would return- something that would keep her away from the NCIS Office for at least two months, if not longer.

AJ had driven her home from the appointment in silence, knowing she was once again blaming herself for the Vietnam mission and getting herself in to this predicament. And ever since they'd returned to Dovecote that afternoon, she'd been introspective, quiet and withdrawn. He worried that if he let her go on like this much longer, her memories of Vietnam would hinder her physical recovery.

He finished unloading his grocery bag and looked over as she put a few small items in the refrigerator. She was unsteady, hanging on to the door handle so tight that her knuckles were turning white. He leaned against the counter, waiting for her to finish so they could have the conversation he knew she was avoiding…a conversation that included what had actually happened in Vietnam…and what had happened between the two of them the other night.

It had gone no further than a kiss, but AJ wanted her to know just how much he cared for her. And it seemed she'd received that message. Though, whether or not she cared about him in the same way was yet to be determined.

The door to the refrigerator shut, and Hetty leaned against it heavily. AJ stepped forward, gently putting both hands on her elbows.

"Hey…let's go sit for awhile. Seems like that walk did you in this morning."

She turned slightly, looking up at him. "Never thought I would say a short walk up the street could do me in."

He chuckled, gently turning her around and leading her back to the table. "Well, times change, Henrietta. For both of us."

He sat across from her, leaning back with a large grin. "I remember the days when I was able to do fifty push-ups and not break a sweat. Now I'm lucky to even get down on the ground without breaking a sweat."

Hetty joined him in laughter, her ribs reminding her she was still injured as pain coursed up and down her sides with each chuckle. She gripped the edge of the table with her left hand, holding her right side with the other, as her laughter soon died away. The Admiral reached across the small table to place his hand over hers.

"You good?"

She cleared her throat and took a few small breaths. "Yes…just warn me next time. I forgot that laughter causes pain just now."

He smiled wide and patted her hand. "I'll try to remember. But I must say, it's good to hear you laugh again."

Nodding, she agreed. "Yes…it is good to finally have something to laugh about."

He stood, picking up her tea cup in one hand and holding out his other to her.

"Why don't we go sit outside? It's nice out…and I think we have some things to talk about."

She eyed him for a moment, unsure whether or not she was ready to have any type of serious discussion. Instead, Hetty wanted to continue in happiness…not relive the fear, the cold, the emptiness.

"Henrietta…please," he urged quietly, reaching down and taking her hand in his.

Sighing, she obliged, and stood with his help. AJ led her out to the patio by the pool, helping her settle in to one of the larger, cushioned chairs. He pulled his chair directly in front of hers, setting his arms on his knees and clasping his hands together.

"So…." he began, kneading his hands together, "…I think we should talk about that wound on your arm."

Hetty remained silent, her eyes cast down to her hands now clasped together in her lap.

"Dr. Atkins said it was healing nicely?" he asked.

She nodded slightly.

"And the day Callen was here…you indicated the wound came from injections…of sodium pentathol?" he continued quietly.

Again, a small nod.

He sat up a bit straighter, hands now planted on his knees. "How many times did they inject you?"

Hetty cleared her throat, turning slightly so she was facing away from him. AJ knew she was avoiding the subject…avoiding answering. But the why behind her avoidance was what he was unsure of.

"How many times, Henrietta?"

"Two…or three…I think," she answered.

AJ, knowing how powerful and intense one dose of such an inhibitor could be to the human system, cursed silently. He couldn't imagine how she'd fought against the pain of the injections…nor the increased pressure to answer questions about her past operations while her resolve was being weakened with each subsequent dose.

"Now why wouldn't you want to tell me that?" he asked gently, leaning forward and pulling one of her hands out of her lap to rest in his large palm.

Still, she wouldn't look at him. He saw her body shudder as she took in a breath, her eyes closing as she simply shook her head in response to his question.

"Henrietta…there was nothing you could do to stop them. They wanted intel…and they were going to do whatever they could to get it from you."

"I should never have trusted Dang…should have known he wouldn't give up Keane for money alone," she said softly, her eyes still focused out across the vast yard.

"Perhaps not. But you did everything possible to get away. Callen said one of the bodies only had half an ear…I'm guessing you took care of the other half," AJ reminded her.

Hetty shrugged. "Still didn't keep him from injecting enough of that damned concoction to take away my…." she stopped, her breath hitching as she looked down, tears welling in her eyes.

AJ moved his chair forward a few inches, squeezing Hetty's fingers lightly. "Taking away what?"

She shook her head again, much faster this time. "I should have known….should have been able to…"

"Henrietta!"

The Admiral's exclamation was enough to stop Hetty, her eyes wide in confusion as she turned to look at him.

"Enough of the 'should have's.' You did what you needed to do to keep yourself and Keane alive."

"But…"

"Henrietta, they were going to use every method possible to break you. But you're still here, and they are six feet below," he told her firmly.

"But they _**did**_ break me, AJ," she responded, her eyes suddenly coming alive. "I cannot remember what I said after the second injection….I've tried over and over to recall how much I gave up…but I have no recollection. And if any operation or anyone I've worked with in the past has been compromised because of what I said….I can never forgive myself."

The tears welled in her eyes again as she quickly turned her head away, pulling her hand from his. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to shed more tears…especially not in front of AJ.

Hetty heard the chair move back across the concrete, heard footsteps walking away from her. And while there was a great deal of hurt knowing she had failed in Vietnam, the knowledge that AJ had just walked away from her was more than the incredibly powerful Henrietta Lange could bear.

After hearing the door to the house close, Hetty's tears began to fall freely, one hand covering her quivering lips while the other held her aching side tight. If anything, AJ had understood her each step of the way…not blaming her for keeping the mission a secret…understanding when she needed space during the day….keeping her occupied when the memories of her torture became so vivid it seemed she was back in Vietnam again.

But now, he had left her; had heard that she could have compromised every single operator she ever worked with…including him…and had walked away from her. Never give up a fellow comrade, even if that means death…that was the one cardinal rule for all undercover operatives. And she had broken that rule…along with the trust of the one man she'd allowed in to her heart.

Right now, she wished for death.

For death would hurt far less than the rejection of Admiral AJ Chegwidden.


	9. Chapter 9

_A short, but hopefully, good chapter! Thank you all for reviewing!_

* * *

"How long? Great. Thanks, kid. I owe you one."

The Admiral hung up his cell phone, sighing heavily as he sat down on the large couch in the living room. He wanted to go back out and see how Henrietta was doing…but he knew no amount of comfort or words from him would help her right now.

He needed that tape. And it would take approximately 30 minutes for him to get it.

The Admiral paced the length of the house, walking in and out of rooms, checking every clock to make sure they matched minute for minute, second for second. He eyed his watch every so often and kept his cell phone in one hand, making sure any call that came in would be answered immediately.

And finally, at 24 minutes and 51 seconds, the doorbell rang. Doing a swift about face, the Admiral strode to the front door and opened it to find a very out of breath technical analyst.

"Jones….you made good time," he said, ushering her in.

"Seemed like it was pretty urgent," Nell answered with a small smile.

She handed him a thin, black recorder and a small paper bag.

"What's this?" he asked, pocketing the recorder and peeking in to the bag.

"Tea for Hetty…it's one of her favorites," Nell added with a shrug. "Eric and I were by the tea shop she usually buys from yesterday. We were going to keep this at the office as a welcome back present for her, but…I thought maybe she could use some now."

The Admiral closed the bag, looking up to thank the young woman. But he found Nell, biting her bottom lip, looking unsure of herself…something he never knew the technical analyst to be.

"I'll be sure to let her know it was from you and Beale. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

"Is she ok, Admiral?" Nell asked suddenly, her eyes now meeting AJ's.

AJ cleared his throat, clasping his hands behind his back. "She will be…the tape will help…as long as what you tell me about it is true."

"Absolutely," Nell replied with a nod. "We analyzed it three times to be sure. There is no indication that any portion of the tape was recorded over. And with the physician's report approximating when Hetty might last have been injected with the sodium pentathol, there would not have been enough time for them to have given her another injection prior to them beginning the….other beatings that caused the injuries to her ribs and spine."

AJ breathed out a deep sigh of relief. "Good…that's exactly what I need. This will help, Nell. More than you know."

He opened the front door again to let Nell out. Nell turned back, putting a gentle hand on the Admiral's forearm.

"Please let her know that we're all thinking about her. And call if there's anything else you need. We…we just want to help."

The Admiral smiled sympathetically. "I know…and I will. Thank you, Nell. "

Nell nodded quickly, sniffing away her tears, and hurried to her car. The Admiral waved, closed the front door and then moved with determination towards the patio. He now had his ammunition. Time to go to war.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you to everyone for the kind reviews in the past, and I hope you will forgive me for the long wait in-between chapters. This has been a very difficult chapter to write!

Please note that there is a mix of actual script from Season 9 in the italicized script. I've also taken some creative license with what may have happened after the scenes we all saw on TV!

Please review and let me know what you think!

* * *

Whether she had fallen in to a light sleep or just refused to acknowledge his presence, he was not sure. For it wasn't until he set the small recorder on the table, pressed the play button and took a seat that Henrietta slowly moved her hand away from her eyes.

The Admiral quickly noted the tear stains marking her cheeks and her grip tightening around the arm of the chair when she heard Dang and Spencer Allen's voices come out of the recorder.

Hetty did not dare look at the Admiral, merely focused on a point in the middle of the table. She heard herself answering Spencer Allen….telling him her name was Milly. She remembered this…vaguely.

AJ listened intently to the recording…heard Spencer yell to Dang that he was going to call the US embassy. And then…then he heard the real Henrietta come through; coaxing Dang to pull the trigger.

Hetty jumped slightly at the door slamming on the recorder, followed by a few loud noises. Not a moment later, Spencer had outed her…and Hetty suddenly remembered this was where her luck had taken a turn for the worse.

 _I respect that you'd rather die than betray your country, I truly do. But I'm paying good money for you. So…you will give up your secrets…_

AJ sat forward, hearing two soft clicks on the recorder, followed by Spencer's voice sounding again:

 _One way or another…_

"Turn it off," Hetty whispered, her hand now covering her eyes again.

The Admiral hated to see her in more distress, but this was too important. He knew she needed to hear each piece of the recording Nell had marked...it was the only way she would ever move on.

 _Be careful…she tricky._

 _Get another man in here to hold her down._

Hetty began rubbing her hand across her forehead, breathing in and out to try and remain calm.

"AJ…turn it off. We already know what happens," she said quietly.

 _Please don't try to fight, Ms. Lange. It will only make the pain worse._

 _What do you know of pain, Mr. Allen?_

AJ smirked, glad to hear that Hetty had never lost her fiery spirit while held captive. The recording automatically stopped, leaving Hetty to breath out a grateful sigh of relief.

"Henrietta, there is more. I know you don't want to hear this…but it's important. You need to know all of what happened," AJ said, pushing the forward button on the recorder until it automatically stopped once more.

Hetty shook her head, glaring at him. "No…I know what happened, AJ. They injected me, they shot Keane…"

"But did you know the entire thing was recorded? That when they injected you again it was captured on audio?"

He pulled his chair forward, now sitting knee to knee with her, and took her hand in his. "You blame yourself for giving up intel and possibly outing agents. But if you don't remember it, how do you know it's true? This recording will prove it one way or another!"

"I don't…"

"For God's sake, woman!" he exclaimed, his hands flying in the air and landing on his legs in exasperation. "Listen to the damn recording and then if you did give anything up, we can fix it! If you didn't, we can finally move on from this!"

Growling under his breath, he didn't wait for her to respond. Instead, he turned and clicked the play button, not entirely sure himself what part of Hetty's interrogation they would be listening to next.

 _She's using a self-induced palilalia to keep her mind focused._

 _One flew east_

 _Or maybe she really is a witch._

 _Intery, mintery, cutery corn. Apple seed and apple thorn_

 _You can stop now!_

AJ saw that Hetty's hands were now shaking in her lap, her eyes closed, no doubt willing away the memories resurfacing. Slowly, he took both her hands in his once more, hoping she would realize he was only doing this out of his concern and love for her.

 _You're wasting time. There's no such thing as a truth serum._

Hetty's fingers tightened around AJ's as there was a scuffle on the recording, followed by a groan in the background.

"Keane?" AJ asked.

Hetty nodded, looking out across the yard as the shot from Spencer Allen's gun sounded across the recording. Tears filled her eyes as she heard another groan escape Keane, followed by a large "thud" that was likely him falling to the ground.

 _And one flew over the cuckoo's nest._

 _Get him out of here!_

AJ heard the change in Spencer Allen's voice…the desperation and anger now evident in the man's tone. The Admiral had feeling Spencer's concern that he would be killed if he did not deliver Henrietta to his boss was the reason behind her added injections of sodim pentathol.

Hetty dropped her forehead in her hand as they listened to another scuffle, the guards dragging Keane out of the interrogation room, followed by some rather loud yelling in Vietnamese.

 _You think more will help? I tell you to try my way! She listen then!_

 _Shut up, Dang!_

 _Sure…fine! But when she still don't answer and you kill her…you owe me my money! I found her and deliver her to you._

 _Only if she gives up her secrets do you get paid._

 _What you doing?_

Another slam was heard on the recording, along with Hetty's continuous Cuckoo's Nest Rhyme in the background.

 _I underestimated her. We'll just have to give her a larger dose to make her stop that damn rhyme and give us the intel we want._

 _You know what you doing? You no doctor._

 _I know exactly what I'm doing._

AJ felt a small tremor run through Hetty's hands when Spencer's attitude changed from determined to pure evil.

"Do you remember any of this?" he asked her.

"Some…I do remember this one hurt…he injected it in the same spot as the first."

Reaching up, AJ lightly trailed his fingers down her right bicep. "Probably why it got infected."

Hetty nodded, becoming silent again as they heard the struggle to hold her down again on the recording, along with Hetty cursing her captors after Spencer injected her.

 _If you'd just tell me a little of what I'd like to know, Ms. Lange, then we wouldn't have to go to such extremes._

 _Intery, mintery, cutery corn._

 _Told you….won't work on her. No truth serum exists._

 _Give it a minute._

 _Apple seed….and….apple…_

AJ's head turned quickly to look at the small recorder, hearing Hetty's labored breathing as she tried to continue with her rhyme. He pulled the recorder closer, not wanting to miss one word.

 _I tell you it too much! You kill her!_

 _She's not dead….she's faking. Do you know how many different methods she's been taught in her career?_

A loud crack, followed by another pop was heard. AJ sat up straight, turning back to look at Hetty, question in his eyes as to what happened.

"I…I don't remember this," she said softly, her own eyes narrowing as they continued to listen.

 _She not faking idiot! She dead!_

 _No…no she's not! She can't be! Wake up, you bitch!_

Over the next few moments, rustling, yelling in Vietnamese and English, banging, cracks, and popping could all be heard on the recording. But nothing from Henrietta Lange.

"You remember none of this?" AJ asked, his fingers gripping hers tight.

"None of it," she confirmed.

"Damn idiot almost killed you," AJ growled.

 _There! There! She breathe!_

 _Thank God._

 _Thought you want her dead._

 _Not until I get the intel I need._

 _All for money…ah, ah, ah! You never get from her…Not your way._

 _Fine. We'll do it your way. Get her back to the cell. When she wakes up, we'll see if the tiger works._

 _Tiger always works. You want say hi to him?_

 _Shut up, Dang._

 _đưa cô ấy trở lại phòng giam_

"Dang told his men to take you back to your cell," AJ translated, seeing the recorder turn off. "Do you remember waking up?"

"Yes," Hetty answered, her brow furrowing as she tried to recall the exact moment. "Keane was still there…not on his cot…he was sitting on the ground, trying to keep pressure on the wound. I apologized…told him I had to keep up the farce. He understood and said not to worry."

"And the tiger?"

"It wasn't long before both Dang and Spencer came back. They opened Keane's cell door and let the tiger out. They told me that Keane would be eaten alive if I didn't talk. I agreed….said I would do anything to stop Keane from dying this way."

"So they took the tiger away and….?"

Hetty pushed up from her chair, slowly. She took a few steps away, trying to recall the sequence of events.

"I was back in interrogation. I gave Spencer a few details; where I was born…what age I was when I started in the CIA…things anyone could find out from anywhere. I started telling him how important the old days were…what we did in the Cold War…how we had been trained in case we were ever captured."

AJ stood, coming up behind her.

"And this has got to be where you biting off his ear comes in?"

She turned, meeting his eyes with a small smile. "The cyanide capsule always did make them nervous."

AJ laughed, leaning forward to gently gather her in his arms. He rested his cheek on the top of her head, letting out a relieved sigh. Knowing she was safe was more than enough for him, but AJ knew, for Hetty, it was most important that she give up the notion she had betrayed the United States. If she wasn't emotionally strong, her physical strength would never recover.

Hetty pulled back, her hands resting lightly on his chest.

"How did you get that recording?" she asked quietly, not meeting his eyes.

"Nell," he answered plainly.

Sighing gently, she shook her head, guilt creeping over her because of the team worrying over her. "I'll thank her next time I speak with her."

"They're all concerned about you," he reminded her, rubbing his hands up her arms to rest on her shoulders.

"I know," she replied, sighing again and looking towards the house. "I will get in touch with them…tomorrow."

"You need time to heal, Henrietta. They don't expect you to be back so soon."

"Mmm…all the same, I will," she said with a firm nod.

A moment of silence passed before she turned to meet his eyes, patting his chest softly. "And thank you, AJ. For making me listen when I did not want to."

"You never want to listen, but you're welcome all the same," he answered with a smirk.

She raised one eyebrow, not quite sure she was up for another one of his challenges. "You are loving this aren't you…the fact that I'm too tired to argue with you."

He chuckled. "It does make for a nice change of pace"

Leaning down, he squeezed her shoulders before whispering in her ear, "Though I do miss going up against the great and powerful Henrietta Lange."

He pulled back and winked, waiting until she finally broke down and smiled for him.

"Now, I think that's enough for one day, don't you Henrietta?" he asked, his face leaning in closer to hers.

Her throat suddenly became dry, an anxious repercussion she was not at all used to. "Yes, I suppose I've frustrated you enough already."

"That you have," he answered, his nose grazing against hers.

"AJ…" she managed to whisper just before his lips covered hers.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Epilogue**_

"Come on, Hetty, one drink! It's your first day back!"

Hetty suppressed a large grin as she closed her purse, looking up to meet the eyes of her two most senior agents.

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna…while I would love nothing more than coming out to celebrate with the team…I'm afraid I do have another engagement I must attend tonight."

"On your first day back to the office after three months off?" Callen asked, seemingly not convinced.

"Indeed," Hetty said, nodding to both agents as she placed the strap of her purse over her shoulder.

She moved past the tall men, both now staring after her, perplexed. As she reached the last step, she turned slightly.

"Tomorrow…drinks are on me. It's been quite a while since Mr. Van Winkle and I have had the time to catch up."

With one final wink, she headed for the back door, waving to Nell and Eric who were making their way down the stairs from OPS.

Sam chuckled. "Now that's more like it. Hetty only breaks out Pappy for special occasions."

But Callen shook his head, his eyes still set on the small woman now walking out the back door. "She's up to something."

"What's new?" Sam asked, rolling his eyes before heading over to join the rest of the team.

Callen made sure the door closed behind Hetty before moving from her office. He couldn't shake the feeling that she was keeping something from him…again. He had hoped that after Vietnam she would open up more…considering they'd almost lost her.

But then again, she was Henrietta Lange. And perhaps some things would never change.

* * *

After a quick sweep across the grounds, Hetty parked her Cobra inside the garage of Dovecote. Setting the security code, she slowly made her way inside, locking and closing the door inside the house behind her.

"Well…how'd it go?"

Chuckling under her breath, she turned to find her "engagement" standing in front of her.

Taking the purse and briefcase out of Hetty's hands, Admiral Chegwidden laid them on the hall table before coming to help her take her coat off.

"Kids happy to have you back?"

"I suppose. Though I'm not sure the new Assistant Director is," Hetty replied, wincing slightly at the ache across her mid-back.

AJ hung her coat in the closet, smiling wide as he laid a hand at the small of her back, gently prodding her towards the living room.

"I'm sure you will find a way to make her appreciate your talents…especially when it comes to dealing with the team. I sense they're not too happy with her."

She stopped short upon seeing the coffee table laid with her favorite tea set, the lights dimmed and the fireplace roaring.

"AJ…this is lovely," she breathed, smiling up at him. "I must say it is rather nice coming home after a long day and not having to do this for oneself."

Grinning, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Least I could do considering I'm the retired one….and your husband."

 _ **Fin**_


End file.
